Before going to bed I thought that I needed to pour out my thoughts here, on blogland, to who knows who! For myself? For foreigners? For people who understand or perhaps to those who don't...I really don't know!!!
I KNOW that at times I zig-zag back and forth in my art, in my speaking, in what I like to do and perhaps how I do it.
ZIG
ZAG
Back and forth, even from country to country.
I used to love Italy, and I still do....but I am starting to feel that just MAYBE we are a bit too OLD over there! Old and ancient is beautiful indeed! Italy is a gorgeous country, and taking photographs there is something I love to do.
BUT
we are missing some of the newness and the new ways of THINKING that there is here.
New means exciting, and old means, just that. Old, already known, already seen.
Am I zigging and zagging?
I am a foreigner in Italy
I will ALWAYS BE A FOREIGNER!!! NO WAY OF GETTING AWAY FROM THAT!
I am taller blonder, my accent is evident and impossible to lose.
I am different
I think differntly
I am not Italian and never will be.
and this, in a way, is sort of sad.
Because, people want and need to fit in (sort of). You want to feel part of a group (sometimes, perhaps, sort of, etc).
Why????? I really don't know!
I just know that when I am here, like now, I seem to find other people who sort of remind me of myself. More creative, a little wild, more open, and very varied. Lots of people here do lots of things! Women, even of a certain age, are doing loads of interesting things!! And they aren't just cooking and cleaning, this NO!!!
TIME FOR BED. In the middle of all this zigging and zagging and rambling on and on, it is time to go to bed. But that is what dreams are for, to think and discover and resolve all those unnecessary zigging and zagging that we do during the day, things we don't resolve.
Now, what was my question? How to feel less of a foreigner, or how to not zig-zag thru life, from one country to another, from ancient to new, to exciting to boring and what we already know....
I don't know
If you know the answer, write me here. I am all ears.
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Double images....
What's the weather like now in Perugia?
Cold one day, sunny the next. Cold in the house. But we still need our coats or lightweight ones or padded jackets outside. Chilly, and not sunny. I like it like this, no problem for me.
1 comment:
Cara,
It's true...you will always be a foreigner in Italy. But you are also a little bit of a foreigner in your homeland too...and what you need to embrace is your desire to bring a bit of Italy to America and a bit of America to Italy. You have become an ambassador to both countries and you are very conscious of showing and sharing the good of each country. I also discovered this as I was spending so much time in Italy...I would constantly compare the lifestyles, the differences and the similarities. I wanted to make sure that the positive aspects from each country made their way into my own way of living...blending a respect of the old and an appreciation for the new. Being a foreigner is not a bad thing...because you strive to represent the best of both worlds.
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