Before going to bed I thought that I needed to pour out my thoughts here, on blogland, to who knows who! For myself? For foreigners? For people who understand or perhaps to those who don't...I really don't know!!!
I KNOW that at times I zig-zag back and forth in my art, in my speaking, in what I like to do and perhaps how I do it.
Back and forth, even from country to country.
I used to love Italy, and I still do....but I am starting to feel that just MAYBE we are a bit too OLD over there! Old and ancient is beautiful indeed! Italy is a gorgeous country, and taking photographs there is something I love to do.
we are missing some of the newness and the new ways of THINKING that there is here.
New means exciting, and old means, just that. Old, already known, already seen.
Am I zigging and zagging?
I am a foreigner in Italy
I will ALWAYS BE A FOREIGNER!!! NO WAY OF GETTING AWAY FROM THAT!
I am taller blonder, my accent is evident and impossible to lose.
I am different
I think differntly
I am not Italian and never will be.
and this, in a way, is sort of sad.
Because, people want and need to fit in (sort of). You want to feel part of a group (sometimes, perhaps, sort of, etc).
Why????? I really don't know!
I just know that when I am here, like now, I seem to find other people who sort of remind me of myself. More creative, a little wild, more open, and very varied. Lots of people here do lots of things! Women, even of a certain age, are doing loads of interesting things!! And they aren't just cooking and cleaning, this NO!!!
TIME FOR BED. In the middle of all this zigging and zagging and rambling on and on, it is time to go to bed. But that is what dreams are for, to think and discover and resolve all those unnecessary zigging and zagging that we do during the day, things we don't resolve.
Now, what was my question? How to feel less of a foreigner, or how to not zig-zag thru life, from one country to another, from ancient to new, to exciting to boring and what we already know....
I don't know
If you know the answer, write me here. I am all ears.